How to make good decisions in times of adversity

As business leaders we are under pressure, or going through tough times, we need to be even more able to make fast, decisions that we are confident we will see the right outcome. During this pandemic, the pressure multiplied as leaders were expected to know what to do, how to do it and do it all with grace.

A bit about our brain. I want to give you a rough idea of how your brain is structured. This model was given to me by a brilliant child psychologist and whilst simple and probably inaccurate it explains it really well. Hold up your arm so the elbow is at 90 degrees to your body. Imagine that your thoughts and feelings rush up your arm and into your hand. The first place they land will be the padded palm by your wrist, which represents your reptilian brain, now curl your thumb into your palm and think of that as your emotional brain, and then wrap your fingers down over your thumb. Your fingers are your abstract higher-level brain. You'll have a bit of a fist shape by now. So let's imagine that fear or distress or upset or plain old confusion rushes up your arm and hits that first bit, the padded bit of your hand. Your reptilian brain isn't interested in reason, emotion, or abstract thinking, it's all about 'am I going to die right now?!'  Anything that triggers those feelings is stopped and kept in the palm of your hand. It cannot be processed and it can't be moved up to your calmer and more rational thoughts. This can be when you know you are acting irrationally but you can't stop it, when you may feel you are in an emotional tsunami.  

The problem with situations that tend to trigger the reptile response is that they often are exactly the moment when you really, really need to be calm and measured and focused in your response. Your mind makes silly connections between what is life and death and you behave in a way you may regret later. So how can you allow the thoughts to flow past your reptile brain and into your thinking brain?

You need to work back from your panic thoughts. So for example, let's take the example of people panic buying toilet roll during the pandemic.  

At the supermarket you see empty shelves of toilet roll, and your heart picks up a beat as your scarcity mindset kicks in (this is evolutionary), big empty spaces are very obvious, if people were panic buying oregano, you wouldn't notice because it's a small space. This thought gets stuck in your reptile brain which does a 'lack of toilet roll = death' equation and you rush to buy your rolls. 

But let's wind back. What's actually going on.  

Let's use a technique I call 'thought strings'. We're going to work down to what ACTUALLY is going on in your head. 

1. you see the empty shelves
2. your heart rate goes up in response to a panic mode being triggered in your reptile brain
3. you stop rationally thinking
4. You buy toilet roll. You relax.
5. WHY? 
Thought strings: I want you to imagine knots on a rope. I want you to work your way down the knots and think of each knot as an answer. Start with the question: Why do I feel...
1st knot - ...scared I'll run out of toilet roll
 2nd knot - because then I'll have nothing and that would be unpleasant
3rd...and that also means that I'll run out of other things
4th.... like ALL food
5th... I'll starve and my kids/partner/parent etc will also die
6th... I don't want to die so I best buy toilet roll!

What you do to combat this: 

As soon as you feel panic about ANYTHING kick in, work down to your worst-case scenario and then ask these questions:
Is it a true possible scenario? 
If not, then what is? 
If it is, then what then? 

Now, reverse engineer back from the catastrophe. 

So I might say: 
1 - they've run out of toilet roll
2 - that would be unpleasant
3 - I'll die....
STOP and go back up 
3 - I won't die, it might not be nice but there are other options
2 - I probably have enough and shops will probably restock
1 - I am actually fine

See how when you remove the fear associated with the panic, the panic goes and very fast you can return to your normal state. Do this on everything that stresses you or worries you. Eventually, with practice this will happen naturally and all of your own accord. 

My example:

Things that have stressed me this week during the pandemic: 
My eldest who is 30 has a genetically low immune system and is known for getting every illness going around. 
My son smokes - he's told me I'm not allowed to send him any more scare stories about smokers.
My other son thinks he'll ride it out (he is crazily healthy and rarely ill)
My youngest daughter has low-level summer asthma...
My youngest son had a glandular fever a year ago and gets everything badly...

I'm 46, I don't smoke, or drink very much, but I eat far too much chocolate when stressed! I think I'll be fine, but suffered a 4 month chest infection last year. 

Can I do anything about any of this? The older ones, no, they want to stay independent. The younger ones, yes I'm isolating with them as much as possible. We'll still go out to exercise, but we will be keeping as much distance as possible - ideally no one near us! I have done all that I can and that is my reverse engineering. I have looked at worst-case scenario and have done all that I can. 

I'm working with a lot of clients at the moment. Those in senior positions of leadership trying to hold their teams together, those holding their families together, and those, frankly just trying to 'keep my own shit together' as one put it, and those doing all three. Your best way of doing this is to keep in your rational, calmer brain. This is a shit time, there's no other word for it, but people have been through worse and we will come through this at some point and then, I'll be coming for a hug with you all! 

Until then, reverse engineer back from catastrophe, ask these questions of anything that worries you:

Can you make changes?
Can you influence the outcomes? If so, what needs to change for you to do so?
If you can't, then you can't.
Accept your limitations. 

This will clean up your decision-making process by allowing you to stay in your rational brain and therefore making good healthy decisions!