Anxiety is not a flaw, it's your brain trying to protect you, often in ways that no longer make sense.

Throughout life, we collect experiences that shape how we respond to the world. Sometimes those responses help us. Sometimes they create patterns of fear, anxiety or behaviour that no longer serve us.

We often feel that visibly strong leadership looks like the person who is in control of the room and who is the confident voice. A lot of leaders still cling to that model because it feels good, we all love feeling in control, it looks efficient and it feels like the fastest route to a decision. What recent neuroscience has proven is much more fascinating.

Did you know research shows that most people would rather know for sure they’re going to receive an electric shock than sit and worry about whether they might? 

Uncertainty is woven into everyday life, and for leaders, that uncertainty is amplified.

Almost every leader I have ever worked with has an employee that they keep when they should either move their role or just let them go. They justify it by saying they don’t want to hurt them or that they are being loyal.

A client said something to me the other day that made me smile. We’d had a very honest conversation where I had to be blunt and tell her that an action she had taken really wasn’t the right one. It’s rare I’ll do this because mostly I leave clients to do what they think is right, but this was an area I have particular expertise in, and I didn’t want her to continue down the wrong path.

I laugh a little when I hear business leaders who still think that their emotional state isn’t tied to their business growth. After working with me, they laugh too! Most leaders avoid this truth bomb. Your business, your vision, your impact – can only grow to the level you’re emotionally available for. It’s a hard realism, and one that held me back too – that’s why I can laugh at it now. 

Let's be honest. One of the biggest problems I see in leadership today isn't strategy, hiring or growth. It's energy. You can have success, money and opportunity, yet still wake up feeling exhausted and wonder why life feels harder than it should.

There’s a particular type of leadership energy that’s quietly disappearing. It’s quiet, understated, and it commanded respect automatically. It was kind, and it didn’t need to shout to be heard. It’s being replaced with loud, aggressive, authoritarian ‘leadership’. 

There’s a loneliness in leadership that creeps in quietly. It shows up even when you’re surrounded by people, leading meetings, signing deals, or being praised in the press. It has nothing to do with being alone physically. It’s about not feeling seen for who you are beneath the role, the title, the influence.

One of the most common issues my client have is that they feel that underneath they have a continuous hum of self-doubt? It frustrates them immensely and it is the things that when we get rid of it, that changes their lives the most. If you have wealth, influence, a public profile, you’ve got it all right? Well, no, life is still really hard sometimes.

Let’s be honest: a lot of people look successful on paper yet feel empty inside. They have the business, the title, the team, the house. They have the metrics, the growth charts, the goals ticked off. Yet beneath it all, there is a restlessness, a low-level hum of dissatisfaction they cannot quite name.

I used to have nightmares almost every night until my late 30s. I had them so much that I just got used to them. I could remember them in great detail too. Now I rarely get nightmares and the worst is intense dreams when I'm hormonal. How did I crack it? Simply, I spent as long as necessary clearing out my unconscious mind.