Recently, I went on a hot air balloon flight. I’ll be honest, it was a cold November day, slightly drizzly, and I had a million things I could have filled the day with. In all honesty, I didn’t want to go, but as it was a gift, I went. 

As many of you know, I am working towards world peace because I believe that a good leader can change the world (sadly the reverse is also true), and I want world peace! I believe that great leaders come from those who focus on getting themselves in the best mental health they can. This might sound like I’m creating selfish leaders, but my experience (and research backs me up) is that if a person is in a good place, then their focus will turn outward. People who are struggling on the inside will only be focused on themselves. This isn’t narcissism; this is biology.

When I was in the Maldives 20 years ago, I haggled so hard over the wooden Buddha you see in the picture, that the shop owner told my husband he wished I was his wife and took us for ice cream! He wanted me to come and work for him! 

20 years later, I have a little grandson who is just 2. Twice now, when he’s come to my house, he sees the figure of the Buddha with his head in his hands. He crouches down with his head almost touching the floor, trying to see the Buddha’s face, and says, "Are you okay?" as he strokes his back. It makes my heart ache even remembering it. 

I work from a cabin in my garden, so several times a day I walk down my garden and back. In summer, this isn’t really noticeable, but in winter, when the grass is longer and the ground is damper, a distinct ‘path’ forms. Even though I notice this and try to make myself walk a different route to save the grass, I just can’t seem to absentmindedly stop following this path. It’s crazy because I could literally walk anywhere else in the garden, but still, my mind just follows this indented pathway.

For as long as I can remember I have been a deep sleeper. As a child I was known to sleep through thunder storms that woke the neighbourhood but not me. As I got older and had children this became a problem. I literally couldn’t stay awake for night feeds without a struggle. When I had my third child, I called it a day the morning after the night before when in the middle of sitting up in bed breastfeeding my son, I had slowly slid sideways down the wall as I fell asleep. Tearfully I said I just couldn’t do this anymore and that feed became a formula feed with their dad. Luckily I had partners who got by on less sleep than me.

A while ago, I posted this photo on LinkedIn and asked the question: 

‘What does this remind you of?’ 

It got loads of comments: ‘pick and mix when I was a kid’, ‘10p mix-ups’, ‘my granny’, etc. 

The post sparked off a lot of memories for people — memories they were instantly able to go back to just by looking at the photo. Memories that included places, people, tastes, and emotions.

Do you ever go through those times when it’s only after the event that you realise how much it affected you? Having our awareness switched on all the time is key to being able to navigate these times in our lives so that we stay focused and do what is right as we go. It prevents the awful realisations after the event. 

If this was ever thrown at you as an insult, you are not alone. What you don’t know is that it’s not an insult, it’s a power. It’s often thrown at you by those who struggle to be in touch with their emotions so they see yours as threatening.  

I was always known in my family as the sensitive one, or more often the over emotional one. This ‘insult’ was never meant to upset me but was a statement of fact for them.  

Last week I saw a post on Facebook. It was a female business owner mentioning how a wonderful male surgeon had operated on her mother’s face. She talked about how lovely this surgeon was, how friendly and how skilled, but also how attractive he was and she had Google searched and found a photo of him in tight bathing trunks, covered in oil, definitely a model shot. Lots of the comments underneath the post were about his body. Now he chose to put this photo on the internet but in a different context to his job...

At the weekend I was having coffee with a friend, talking about our complicated mothers. 

This was a relatively new friend; she asked me many questions about my childhood, my mother, and, more importantly, how I had laid to rest my disappointment in the parenting I had received. I truly am at peace with my relationship with my mother.

One of the biggest things that leaders tell me is how isolated they feel in their role. They don’t feel they can be vulnerable to their team and they don’t want to share with their peers. This is a nuanced situation. In some situations it’s absolutely right to share with both team and peers – in fact I’d say more often than not sharing some information is exactly the right thing to do, but there are times when it’s not appropriate to share. It’s a challenge to get it right, especially when you are stressed. 

As some of you know I took up pottery about two years ago. I thought I’d sit at a pottery wheel and easily make a pot. I didn’t. I also thought that I’d easily be able to make beautiful sculptures. I couldn’t. What happened between the wonderful image in my head and what came out of my hands I have no idea!  

Many CEOs are the ideas the people (I'm one of them so I get it).

It's how they inspire others to follow them.

It's how they get investors to invest.

It's how they come up with great ideas.

Unfortunately, it has downsides.

A week ago I took my last of five children to university. Such a huge transition for me. I got pregnant at 16 and had my first child at just 17, so at 51 I haven’t spent any of my life alone without a child at home. Partners may have come and gone but my children and my role of being a mother, have not. For the first time in my adult life, I will live alone. I’m lucky that one of my older sons is with me for just a couple of months to ease that transition, I’m not sure how well I would have fared coming home to a completely empty house. 

You’d be surprised how often I still hear people tell me that they don’t cry, like it’s a badge of honour. It’s not. Crying comes so easily to a new born baby because it’s a completely normal emotion, just as equal to all the other experiences of joy, happiness, frustration and confusion.

When trust goes, we feel it at a core level. We retreat, and we stop communicating, in fact, we stop wanting to be around that person. So when you work in a team with someone you don’t trust, it’s a huge issue.

Lack of trust also has a knock on effect because we are so sensitive to it that when someone we trust, doesn’t trust someone, then we stop trusting that person, even if they have given us no cause to do so.

You’re in business, likely to make money, so when you look at the profit and loss charts it’s really easy to see what doesn’t give ROI and you cut it instantly.

Let’s face it. If you check the news, the world doesn’t feel great, and all that seems to be reported is doom and gloom.

Rarely do they write about all the people making great changes. We need better leadership, fast, and that includes you.  

My full name is Marianna Ilia Makiko Jade Williams. I used to have a triple-barrelled surname and going through any form filling was a nightmare. Yet you know me as Mari. I know you are thinking, wow, what a name, and yes, I will explain all, but first.

Have you ever wondered how your name affects your mental health? Do you feel like a John or a Steve, do you feel like a Sam or a Charlie?

I love Marvel films. I just love that they always include a really healthy message. Stories have done this for years in different ways. Hansel and Gretel was to prevent kids from going into the woods, Red Riding Hood the same thing. We naturally use stories to learn. It surprises me the sudden interest in brand storytelling and personal brand stories as really, businesses have always used this to make us loyal and to buy their products. Apple doesn’t sell you a phone, it sells you a lifestyle and an identity.