I’m seeing a worrying trend in leadership. Are you part of it?

Before I begin, spend a few moments thinking about what your motivations to lead are. If your motivation is all about what you want, then you could be part of the problem.

As many of you know, I am working towards world peace because I believe that a good leader can change the world (sadly the reverse is also true), and I want world peace! I believe that great leaders come from those who focus on getting themselves in the best mental health they can. This might sound like I’m creating selfish leaders, but my experience (and research backs me up) is that if a person is in a good place, then their focus will turn outward. People who are struggling on the inside will only be focused on themselves. This isn’t narcissism; this is biology.

Our brain is truly focused on keeping us alive. That’s its one job. So, if it’s concerned about you, then everything you think and feel will be about you, over and above everyone, sometimes even your family. As soon as your mental health is good, you will have extra energy, resilience and happiness to focus on others as well as yourself. Not only will it be something you can do, it will be something you want to do.

I’m seeing too many leaders who feel frustrated with their teams. They want their team to do as they wish without questioning, they don’t know how to coach for an outcome, and they feel that they are wasting their time with people not on their wavelength.

Newsflash: if these people had the skill-set you have, they would be in other leadership roles and not being led. We all have to go through a learning curve. You did too, once a long time ago…

A good leader leads not just because they want to do something great or because they moved up the ranks, but because they genuinely want to help others take that journey behind them. A huge part of being a leader is recognising that leaders are only leaders if someone is following them. To these followers, you are a model, a teacher and an inspiration to keep moving towards being a leader themselves one day. This means that part of your role is helping them learn all your skills. Their questions should show you the gaps in their knowledge, and as you help them structure their thoughts, you are teaching them the same process. It reminds me of how, when I have worked with people for a few months, they begin to use the same processes I use; they develop their own coach-therapist. This is part of my goal when I take someone on. Are they a learner? Will they learn how to help themselves more in the future? Will they help others?

I can say without a doubt that the people I lead go on to lead others in a happier, more person-centred way.

So, ask yourself this: are you part of the problem, or are you the solution?

If you’re struggling to focus on others, then you need to spend time finding the balance in your own life first.