What’s your name?

My full name is Marianna Ilia Makiko Jade Williams. I used to have a triple-barrelled surname and going through any form filling was a nightmare. Yet you know me as Mari. I know you are thinking, wow, what a name, and yes, I will explain all, but first.  

Have you ever wondered how your name affects your mental health? Do you feel like a John or a Steve, do you feel like a Sam or a Charlie?  

We often think nothing of our names, yet we may consciously or unconsciously develop some belief systems about them.  

We can be bullied about our names at school. Society can have meme’s about our names or famous characters can take over our names. I once spoke to a Vicky Pollard on the phone (for any non-UK peeps, this was the name given to an

unfortunate absurd character in a BBC TV sketch show – I doubt the show would be aired now). She told me how awful it was and how many jokes she now got about it.

I met a lovely young man called Osama recently. I had to get him to say it 3 times as we were in a noisy environment. When I realised what it was, I said, oh, like Osama Bin Laden, how do you feel about that? He smiled and said, I like it but it’s so lovely how you asked how I felt rather than making a joke about it. I gather he must find it tough. As Michael McIntyre jokes, you won’t find many baby Hitlers anymore.

Thre’s a reason, because names are so crucial to us.  

Our beliefs about our names and the beliefs of those around us can really hold us back, both psychologically and practically. A friend who was a high-level lawyer in London told me that when she changed her name from Sharon to Kate, she instantly got more work.  

So, how does your name hold you back? What might you unconsciously be holding on to?  

I had a client once who said that from age 11, he had asked to change his name; his father said no. He was worried about changing it as a 40-year-old man. How would it affect his role and his business contacts? He asked my thoughts. Own the change, I said, write a blog, post it on LinkedIn, and it will blow over. He did. It did, and now he’s very happy with a new first name.  

It’s crazy to think that something so important to us is given to us by someone else. I found it really difficult to choose a name for myself when my Grandson was born. A name that he will call me instead of my real name. Originally, I chose Nunu as it’s an affectionate term; luckily, someone told me when he was still small enough to change it that it also represents a particular female body part – *sigh* back to the drawing board on that one. I’ve chosen Grammie because it sort of still sounds like Mari!  

When I was pregnant I became attached to names like Storm and Troy – I was

overruled on both. I do think Storm would have fitted the child I wanted to give it to though!  

What does your name mean to you? Does it propel you forward or hold you back?

Check-in on your beliefs and check they are working in your favour. Let go of society's beliefs, let go of the bully's comments and step up and own YOUR name. It’s literally who you are.  

So, why the long name? My mother had a very simple first name and an old family surname as a middle name. She says she was thinking we might become film stars, so she wanted to give us names to choose from (so far, I’ve let her down on that one!).   

Marianna – My mother was Anna and my father Married-Anna = Marianna (yes,

honestly that’s it). I don’t use Marianna as I used it as a child and was bullied a lot.

It reminds me of those times. I was also called Marijuana at school…. 

Llia – a Samaritan (from the Samaritans phone helpline) that my mother called so many times they became friends!  

Makiko – my aunt was Japanese.  

Jade – my mother said her brother was calling his children Emerald and Sapphire – I got Jade.  

Williams is my father’s family name. I just couldn’t deal with a triple barrelled surname!  

Mari Williams feels like me. I worked hard to become Mari Williams. She is strong and centered and I like her. It worked hard to build my business and own that space as Mari Williams too. When I got married I didn’t change it but my husband changed his surname to mine. 

I am Mari Williams.  

Who are you?  

I would love to hear your names and how/why you got them?