Why awareness is the keystone to everything.
Do you ever go through those times when it’s only after the event that you realise how much it affected you? Having our awareness switched on all the time is key to being able to navigate these times in our lives so that we stay focused and do what is right as we go. It prevents the awful realisations after the event.
As some of you may know, I’ve been very unwell these last two weeks. Apart from the odd cough and cold, I’m generally a well person, so I have to say it’s come as a bit of a shock to be so unwell and has reminded me that I must always place my health first. A reminder we all need occasionally. Recently, I’ll be honest, I’ve been so excited by some new work projects (more on those another time!) that I’ve been working late, prioritising work over exercise and just grabbing bits of food rather than making a healthy meal. I know… all the things I tell you not to do! I am human!
Whether or not it’s linked, I started to feel unwell. Because I am very aware, I decided that this was actually time for me to not push through entirely but to ensconce myself on the sofa and sit it out. I did some non-taxing writing and answered emails, etc., alongside intermittently watching Netflix. All was well—2-3 days and I’ll be better, I thought. However, days later I felt worse, not better. I checked in with myself again and really felt the fatigue I was experiencing. I took myself off to bed, where I could only sleep sitting up, and lay there under my eye mask, awake and feeling sorry for myself. No work took place. I cancelled a few things and just created time to be unwell. I was immensely frustrated as I have so many things I’m working on, and time felt like it was passing. BUT I know that if I don’t rest, this lasts longer, and then I’m able to work for even less time productively.
Yesterday, I was breathing so badly that I went back to the GP, who was so worried about my breathing they nearly sent me to hospital! Luckily today the worst has passed, and I’m now back to work, albeit coughing and spluttering a little.
This illness caught up with me, and it’s only today as my head clears a little and I can breathe that I realise how unwell I have been. The thing is that most of us don’t stop, check in with ourselves, and tune into what we really need. I often have client sessions (in the beginning, not the end of our programmes as I’ve stopped this behaviour by then), where clients are too unwell and should not be at work, let alone trying to do a session with me. I often tell them to go home; it makes me smile that grown adults need permission to do this.
Reflecting today, although I hadn’t realised quite how bad I was, it’s interesting to me that I was able to check in multiple times a day and decide what I needed. Whether that was that I was fine to sit on the sofa and work, or that I just needed to be eyes closed in bed. I recalibrated every hour or so. I truly think I’m coming out of this quicker than if I had pushed myself to keep going.
How much do you push yourself when the situation isn’t right?
It also made me reflect on how this lack of awareness can actually mean that we go through life in a very different way than if we stopped to think about how we are actually living. I had a conversation with a good friend of mine a few weeks ago who was telling me about her childhood and how it had traumatised her sister but had had no effect on her at all. This was interesting to me because my friend got into a violent relationship when young and stayed a decade and isn’t very good with emotional communication. Direct correlations to her childhood experiences. I am completely aware of how much it affected her, but she is not. She’s in her 70s and just doesn’t see it. How many other parts of her life have been affected by decisions she’s made from lack of awareness of a problem?
I always knew my childhood would cause me issues, which is why I started working on it as soon as I had my first child at 17.
Over the years I’ve spent both looking at my life but also that of my hundreds of clients, I’ve come to realise that without awareness we have nothing. There’s nowhere to go from lack of awareness. So I want to wake you up a bit today.
Sit with yourself for 15 minutes. Eyes closed in the quiet. Don’t jump to your first thoughts but sit a while with whatever you feel. Tune into your body; how does it feel? Notice your thoughts and then sit with them. What is your body and mind telling you? What changes do you need to make? What ah-ha moments have you had?
Just giving ourselves these moments in time can be transformative. Try to do this at least once a day.
I’d love to know what came up for you.
For me, I’m pleased I had so much awareness that I have been able to look after and care for myself through being ill, changing my decisions as needed. I didn’t get it perfect and on reflection maybe I should have gone to bed earlier, but I’m not sure of that. What it has made me do is reset my health as the priority and be thankful that I’m as aware as I am…