An Unfolded Future Me
A little while ago I was having a big sort out of my cabin, and all the paperwork and course notes that we all tend to hold on to! It was interesting to see how basic and simple a lot of the coursework was. I remember doing my coach training and struggling to learn some starter sentences to get us all going. I struggled to learn all the key phrases and how to hold the structure of all the things a session should include in my head whilst also listening to my clients!
It comes so naturally to me now that I don’t even think about it.
Like you, my life is full of meetings and a long to do list and the ever constant, ‘I could be doings’ that sit around the edges of my brain, whispering in my ear. It’s so easy to feel that we just aren’t getting enough done. I am as guilty of this as you.
So there I was, sitting surrounded by papers from years ago when a folded up flip chart sheet slid to the floor. I opened it up and there was a very significant part of my history. See photo attached! At the end of our coaching course, 20 years ago! We were all given a sheet of paper and asked to draw (my worst nightmare as I’m unable to draw a competent stick man), our journey.
As you can see, I kept mine basic.
It was like a time capsule for me both personally and professionally. When I look at my kid stick figures, there’s a baby one – he’s now 18! There’s hubby number 2 – now ex hubby number 2! If you look on the top right you’ll see how I felt about myself ‘low confidence, low self-esteem, low value in my own skills’ WOW. I am the complete reverse now. I had forgotten how bad I felt.
I go on to say how this improves on the course by the Nov. (Note I have to explain my smile is happy not evil – this is how bad my drawing is, I cannot draw a mouth!)
I skimmed to the bottom where I saw that when I finished the course in the January that I was able to recognise I had to put my kids after me some of the time. The note about my hubby is interesting in that I’m still holding the world, although lighter and I note this ‘needs more work’. We broke up about 2 years after this – I clearly was unconsciously aware of this.
I was just about to put it away when the middle section caught my eye. Right in the middle it says ‘futures=coaching and (dream come true) = my own coaching business. WOW it hit me. Me of 20 years ago was picturing the future I have now and the future I’ve had for a long time, that she set in motion, as the best thing I could ever achieve! Let alone that I’ve added therapy, trauma training and mediation to that list, although she did predict more development at the bottom…
What a wonderful reminder for me. Seeing that I had achieved my absolute dream and so much more since then. It actually made me pause for a few days and reassess my new dreams. I would so love to take the low confidence me from back then and show her who I have become today. I’m so proud of what I have achieved and who I have become.
It’s funny now that it’s the personal changes that I value above all else. I love my business but I love me more.
I’ve decided to write myself a letter to open in 10 years’ time, I want to remind myself as I grow, that I’ve worked hard to get where I am and I want to pause and give myself a huge hug and a celebration. Working on yourself is never easy, but it’s so, so, so worthwhile.
Take time today to think back to when you were younger and starting out. Have you achieved your dreams, did your dreams change along the way? What are your new dreams? Draw (shudder) or write yourself a letter for the future you, to unfold.