Why is trust so important in a team?

When trust goes, we feel it at a core level. We retreat, and we stop communicating, in fact, we stop wanting to be around that person. So when you work in a team with someone you don’t trust, it’s a huge issue.

Lack of trust also has a knock on effect because we are so sensitive to it that when someone we trust, doesn’t trust someone, then we stop trusting that person, even if they have given us no cause to do so. It’s called 'contagious emotion' we do this in our personal lives too.

When we lived in tribes, we had to be able to trust each other as the entire community relied on each other to survive. Having a very highly attuned sense of who to trust and who not to, was crucial to our survival. In many ways it still is, how many times have you avoided a certain walk home, or put your guard up around someone you don’t even know? That’s your trust instincts kicking in.

We still need it, but we also need to be able to understand it.

Why do we not trust that person?

How can you remedy this breakdown?

The first thing is to help the people concerned work out exactly what led to the breakdown in trust. Often they won’t know exactly and will pin it on an event rather than an emotion. The event will be the trigger, the emotion is the problem. Hurt, undermining, not being listening to etc. These are the real issue. The event is the cause.

A professional really helps here. I work as a mediator too and it always fascinates me, the emotions assumed by others and how often those emotions remind someone of a childhood figure. Really it’s, 'I don’t trust you because you remind me of a parent or teacher I struggled with'.

When they understand the emotion behind the loss of trust, then a true conversation can take place. This ideally needs to be held with the safety of a completely neutral 3rd person who can help manage the conversation so it doesn’t stray off-topic.

If this is a workplace issue it’s very worth bringing in a professional.

Can trust be regained? Yes, in fact, it can be strengthened. I once mediated with two men who worked in a business, their jobs relied on them getting on and they didn’t! When we got down to it, both realised they were actually being steered against each other via a higher leadership team who didn’t realise the effect their management was having. Not only was trust regained, but they became friends.

So, when it’s about trust. Get help with repairing it…fast.