Why business leaders need to prioritise calm in a chaotic world.
Last week I took a week off and ran away to a beautiful cottage with a friend who was also writing her book. Lost in woods and nature and listening to the change in birdsong as it got dark, we both realised how lovely it was to just be able to focus on one thing for a whole week…. So calm and relaxing
The Reality Of Leadership
This week I had the same conversation with two of my clients. They are both struggling with a team member who they feel is deliberately being awkward. Here’s the reality, most people are tired, stressed and have a lot of emotional baggage knocking around. Most people are stuck in their own heads trying to make their way through the maze of their own life. They aren’t often thinking about you.
An Unfolded Future Me
A little while ago I was having a big sort out of my cabin, and all the paperwork and course notes that we all tend to hold on to! It was interesting to see how basic and simple a lot of the coursework was. I remember doing my coach training and struggling to learn some starter sentences to get us all going. I struggled to learn all the key phrases and how to hold the structure of all the things a session should include in my head whilst also listening to my clients!
Finding Real Balance in Leadership and Life
"Keep calm and carry on"—remember when that phrase first popped up?
It felt clever, like the perfect antidote to our fast-paced, stress-filled world. Soon enough, it was everywhere—on mugs, posters, even underwear. Then came mindfulness, sliding into its place as the next big thing. It wasn’t just about meditation anymore; it became a brand—packaged into apps, books, and retreats that promised peace in just a few clicks.
Seeing Life from Above
Recently, I went on a hot air balloon flight. I’ll be honest, it was a cold November day, slightly drizzly, and I had a million things I could have filled the day with. In all honesty, I didn’t want to go, but as it was a gift, I went.
I’m seeing a worrying trend in leadership. Are you part of it?
As many of you know, I am working towards world peace because I believe that a good leader can change the world (sadly the reverse is also true), and I want world peace! I believe that great leaders come from those who focus on getting themselves in the best mental health they can. This might sound like I’m creating selfish leaders, but my experience (and research backs me up) is that if a person is in a good place, then their focus will turn outward. People who are struggling on the inside will only be focused on themselves. This isn’t narcissism; this is biology.
Are you ok? The universal signs of body language.
When I was in the Maldives 20 years ago, I haggled so hard over the wooden Buddha you see in the picture, that the shop owner told my husband he wished I was his wife and took us for ice cream! He wanted me to come and work for him!
20 years later, I have a little grandson who is just 2. Twice now, when he’s come to my house, he sees the figure of the Buddha with his head in his hands. He crouches down with his head almost touching the floor, trying to see the Buddha’s face, and says, "Are you okay?" as he strokes his back. It makes my heart ache even remembering it.
Why can’t I stop doing that?
I work from a cabin in my garden, so several times a day I walk down my garden and back. In summer, this isn’t really noticeable, but in winter, when the grass is longer and the ground is damper, a distinct ‘path’ forms. Even though I notice this and try to make myself walk a different route to save the grass, I just can’t seem to absentmindedly stop following this path. It’s crazy because I could literally walk anywhere else in the garden, but still, my mind just follows this indented pathway.
It always comes back to bite me!
For as long as I can remember I have been a deep sleeper. As a child I was known to sleep through thunder storms that woke the neighbourhood but not me. As I got older and had children this became a problem. I literally couldn’t stay awake for night feeds without a struggle. When I had my third child, I called it a day the morning after the night before when in the middle of sitting up in bed breastfeeding my son, I had slowly slid sideways down the wall as I fell asleep. Tearfully I said I just couldn’t do this anymore and that feed became a formula feed with their dad. Luckily I had partners who got by on less sleep than me.
What’s so important about chocolate mice?
A while ago, I posted this photo on LinkedIn and asked the question:
‘What does this remind you of?’
It got loads of comments: ‘pick and mix when I was a kid’, ‘10p mix-ups’, ‘my granny’, etc.
The post sparked off a lot of memories for people — memories they were instantly able to go back to just by looking at the photo. Memories that included places, people, tastes, and emotions.
Why awareness is the keystone to everything.
Do you ever go through those times when it’s only after the event that you realise how much it affected you? Having our awareness switched on all the time is key to being able to navigate these times in our lives so that we stay focused and do what is right as we go. It prevents the awful realisations after the event.
You’re just too sensitive/over emotional!
If this was ever thrown at you as an insult, you are not alone. What you don’t know is that it’s not an insult, it’s a power. It’s often thrown at you by those who struggle to be in touch with their emotions so they see yours as threatening.
I was always known in my family as the sensitive one, or more often the over emotional one. This ‘insult’ was never meant to upset me but was a statement of fact for them.
It matters when you stay silent.
Last week I saw a post on Facebook. It was a female business owner mentioning how a wonderful male surgeon had operated on her mother’s face. She talked about how lovely this surgeon was, how friendly and how skilled, but also how attractive he was and she had Google searched and found a photo of him in tight bathing trunks, covered in oil, definitely a model shot. Lots of the comments underneath the post were about his body. Now he chose to put this photo on the internet but in a different context to his job...
Why do some people get therapy, and others don’t?
At the weekend I was having coffee with a friend, talking about our complicated mothers.
This was a relatively new friend; she asked me many questions about my childhood, my mother, and, more importantly, how I had laid to rest my disappointment in the parenting I had received. I truly am at peace with my relationship with my mother.
Alone at the top
One of the biggest things that leaders tell me is how isolated they feel in their role. They don’t feel they can be vulnerable to their team and they don’t want to share with their peers. This is a nuanced situation. In some situations it’s absolutely right to share with both team and peers – in fact I’d say more often than not sharing some information is exactly the right thing to do, but there are times when it’s not appropriate to share. It’s a challenge to get it right, especially when you are stressed.
Did you make that?
As some of you know I took up pottery about two years ago. I thought I’d sit at a pottery wheel and easily make a pot. I didn’t. I also thought that I’d easily be able to make beautiful sculptures. I couldn’t. What happened between the wonderful image in my head and what came out of my hands I have no idea!
Stop being a bouncy CEO!
Many CEOs are the ideas the people (I'm one of them so I get it).
It's how they inspire others to follow them.
It's how they get investors to invest.
It's how they come up with great ideas.
Unfortunately, it has downsides.
The empty nest.
A week ago I took my last of five children to university. Such a huge transition for me. I got pregnant at 16 and had my first child at just 17, so at 51 I haven’t spent any of my life alone without a child at home. Partners may have come and gone but my children and my role of being a mother, have not. For the first time in my adult life, I will live alone. I’m lucky that one of my older sons is with me for just a couple of months to ease that transition, I’m not sure how well I would have fared coming home to a completely empty house.
Why crying is good for you.
You’d be surprised how often I still hear people tell me that they don’t cry, like it’s a badge of honour. It’s not. Crying comes so easily to a new born baby because it’s a completely normal emotion, just as equal to all the other experiences of joy, happiness, frustration and confusion.
Why is trust so important in a team?
When trust goes, we feel it at a core level. We retreat, and we stop communicating, in fact, we stop wanting to be around that person. So when you work in a team with someone you don’t trust, it’s a huge issue.
Lack of trust also has a knock on effect because we are so sensitive to it that when someone we trust, doesn’t trust someone, then we stop trusting that person, even if they have given us no cause to do so.